Ruin a wish

First topic message reminder :

very simple game

someone wishes for something - the next user grants the wish but with a negative side effect

example

ANON: i wish for some money
ANON 2: granted but it's all fake
i wish i won the lottery
ANON 3: granted but you lose your ticket

get the idea i'll start

i wish i was immortal

granted but you won't get it for another 1000 years

i wish i knew how to cure cancer

granted but you have no mouth hands and eyes.

I wish I had a 3ds today

granted but it doesn't work

i wish i could cure HIV

wish granted but again you have no arms, eyes, mouth, and now no legs.

I wish I had a laptop that worked and I had it today, in addition it couldn't get viruses.

granted but it blew up

i wish i was a mouse

granted but a cat eats you

i wish for an iphone 4

granted but the iphone falls into a lake never to be seen again.
I wish I had a light table

granted but you can't lift it

i wish i had the DSi xl

granted but its fake

i wish i was a cat

granted but a dog chases you and you get tired easily

i wish i could win the sinnoh league in the anime

granted but all your pokemon died form exhaustion

I wish I had a shiny beldum

granted but you release it

i wish i can afford anything

Granted but you'll have a debt collector after you.

I wish I had a pet alligator

granted but it eats you

I wish I could shoop the woop lol

Granted but My pet alligator eats you too.

I wish Pokemon were real.

Wish granted all pokemon do not listen to your orders.

I wish i had a time machine.

Granted but you go to the time of dinosaurs and lose all power, rendering you unable to come back.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

granted but you don't know anything else

i wiah i can fire mah lazar out of my mouth

granted but your head explodes on your first try
I wish I knew how to use photoshop well >.>

granted but you don't know how to use the other programs on the computer

i wish i could transform

wish granted but you transform into a rock and are unable to change again
I wish my banjo was in tune

granted but it annoys the neighbours

i wish i owned all pokemon cards in the world

granted but they are burned immediantly after you get them.
I wish my electric guitar was also in tune XD

granted but you annoy the neighbours with that

i wish i had a credit card

granted but you owe the bank a gargantuan sum of money for bouncing payments.
I wish I had a better monitor